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Surviving Pregnancy

surviving pregnancy - dads

Surviving pregnancy is not an easy feat for any man.
Pregnancy can turn your life upside down, make the woman you loved into a monster, and the monster you love just a woman.

Congratulations! Your wife is pregnant and your life as you know it has ended! Before the pregnancy you were like a free bird flitting in and out whenever you wanted. Now, you need to worry about your beautiful ballooning wife.

Surviving Pregnancy – What is Pregnancy

Before we talk about the how tos of surviving pregnancy we need to go over pregnancy basics.

Not sure how you got here? Then you might need to have a serious conversation with your mailman.

Surviving pregnancy - Boom

A huge part of surviving pregnancy is understanding that for each woman, the ordeal is different.
This means, just because it was easy for your sister,mother, aunt, or dog, does NOT mean that it will be so for your wife.

So how does it feel?

Imagine waking up and having a hangover. Now imagine waking up every morning that way.

You head is spinning, your stomach lurches, and you feel like shit.

So yeah, your wife is waking up hung over every morning, but without the fun journey.

or

Imagine that you had amazing Mexican food, that moment when your stomach gets queasy. You know that eating that extra chili was a mistake. There is a sharp pain in your stomach and you rush to the bathroom.

But for her there is no bathroom, just that feeling of remorse and the regret at the extra chili. The chili that is now tossing and turning in her stomach with no way to escape.

Surviving pregnancy - Stomach

Surviving Pregnancy

 

Now that you have a bit more of an idea as to their situation. Here are some tips:

  • Be willing – Pregnancy cravings are real, but sometimes it’s more about your willingness to go than you actually needing to go.  WARNING: Sometimes it is about you going!Surviving Pregnancy - Cravings
  • Have Chocolate ready. Yes! hide chocolate around the house Now this can be an equivalent treat, but you should have, because you know she will need it.Surviving pregnancy - Chocolate
  • Orgasms are good for her. Not faking them…actually having them. That might mean being a bit more attentive, taking a bit more time, or more trips to Australia, but get IT DONE!Surviving Pregnancy - Orgasm
  • Start making sure that you have some dad time. Just a little so that you don’t go insane.
  • And of course, the most important tip (for you only) Alcohol! Surviving pregnancy - alcohol

In closing, your life as you know it is over. You are entering a new world, one in which you are no longer the most important person in your life. Pregnancy is practice, because once the baby comes…

Survive Pregnancy - Kids

Like this? Share your pregnancy tips below!

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shraga
shraga
Dad of four living in Israel. Being a dad is an insane roller coaster that never ends, plus a lot of people throw up. I like finding things to laugh at in the day to day and usually that means laughing at myself.

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